Slow cooked Oatmeal
5 or so baby carrots (found mold on one, yeah I'm done now)
About 25 pistachios
That's all I ate today? I just thought about it because it's getting close to dinner time and I'm not hungry at all. So I thought about everything I ate today which apparently isn't much. I don't feel that this is bad though, because it was not on purpose what so ever.
I'm smack in the middle of my "ideal" weight for my frame and height. That's not an excuse. But I know at any weight Eds strike. It's self hatred. Just fix your body and you'll feel better. Oh, okay you got to your goal weight, but now it needs to be lower, you're not quite happy enough. Why can't you do anything right? No one likes me. Just one last binge, then I'm done. I'm okay, nothings wrong with me, don't worry. Nothing I do is ever enough. Tons o'lies.
Ed is a dangerous self trap that is a bitch to climb out of. I could let Ed own what I ate today. "That's great!" or "Tomorrow do it again!" or even "You should be eating less than that, you're FAT!"
But, ed isn't speaking. Nope. I'm bloated. My period is due. I have no hunger for anything, and THAT'S OKAY. My mind is at ease and all I can do is accept that. If I doubt my emotions, I will let Ed sneak in to persue to do harmful things. My body is not being denied anything. I will however, eat some tuna (with onions) in a salad with some fixings. Not hungry, but tuna sounds good now=) Oh and chocolate after...