I'm looking forward to my appointment tomorrow with my psychiatrist L. Today it felt like one big panic attack. Everything I could think that might be wrong, I imagined it so, and got stuck in those thoughts. It's so hard to dig yourself out of these emotions, yet I want to so bad, so why can't I? I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way. I'm so fucking sick of worrying, being afraid, and always limiting my ability of thinking to try new things. This is insanity.
I can't even focus to read over things I want to, that are a guide to me for work. I'm dragging myself once again to do laundry. I just want to lay my head down. This would be okay if I could lay my head down for the appropriate time! (7 hours straight preferably)
I want to know exactly why I feel this way all the time. Why am I like this? What's wrong with me? I want to figure it out! I can't fake it, yet I don't want to walk around a scrooge. How do I handle having "egh" moods? Why are these "egh" moods so scary and threatening? It seems the more I fight them, the worse I feel.
I think too fucking much. Don't mind this post...