Saturday, February 21, 2009

Did I Really?

Last night was wonderful-went out to dinner with bf, had a Cajun salmon salad, 3 martinis...we then hung out with friends and came back home. K came over and we all did some wii bowling and rock band

I'm laying in bed. Half awake, I start talking. I ask the bf, Did I pretty much fall asleep on the couch? Yes. Was I in the bathroom on the floor? Yup. Did I throw up? Nope. So I was just like chillin in the bathroom by the toilet? Pretty much, and I brought you into bed to sleep.

Woah. I vaguely remember falling in and out of sleep in the living room while we watched TV. Vaguely remember sitting on the floor over the toilet. I had 3 drinks, plus one more when I got home. This really shows how little I ever drink, or at least how little I ever have more than one drink. 

After this conversation, bf said he did not feel well. He had a salad as well, and one beer. That was it. His head hurt so much he had to throw up, a couple times. I had drove to the store to buy him Advil around 5am. I'm not sure if it's just a really bad migraine, or if he's coming down with something. Either way I feel so bad, it's never fun to be in that kind of agony.

Since last weekend, I've been mentally and physically feeling well. I moved many of my kitchen and bathroom items into the bf's last night. I had gone grocery shopping at Whole Foods, then Hannaford. Over the past couple of months I have come to see that being at home triggers me extremely. I slipped back into bulimia staying there one night. When I'm here my anxiety is calmed, I'm relaxed and can think clear. I honestly do not feel safe being at my house unless my Dad or G is there. Even then I still don't want to be there.


Excellent little snack-awesome texture, taste, and  it's made by Larabar!

I'm going to get on my ass more about blogging-before during and a little after I was not doing anything blog wise. The affect this blog and others has on me in recovery is invaluable, and I need to remember this to keep me on the right track.

1 comment:

  1. Egh. Does this remind me of yesterday? Memories quite faded. Yuck. But it's a new day, and it usually takes me 2-4 days to forget an incident like that.

    Keep going, Sarah. Keep fighting.