This past weekend was a mess, ED wise. Today I feel much better and I'll leave it at that, instead of trying to figure out how and why it all happened.
I really loathe my over analyzing. Most of the time, and some times it can come in quite handy, and I feel more prepared/aware than others in situations. I've tricked myself into believing if I imagine every possible outcome for each moment, that I'll be less anxious and therefore be able to handle what happens. Thing is, I'm so into thinking what could happen (which I could call premature anxiety, haha) I am not even present in what is actually happening right then. In short, my mind goes blank. It's like I'm trying to end every one's sentence but keep getting it wrong. This does not ease my anxiety at all.
So today I'm keeping my mind shut. Trying not to jump the gun on things. Maybe feel present for long moments. Yes, that would be nice.