Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Where I'm At

Since my last post almost a month ago, this same story line has continued at work. Stressed, under appreciated but hanging in there. I think the only reason I 'hung in there.' was because 1) I didn't think I could find a better job at that pay 2) I thought it would get better. Well #1 is going to have to happen, because #2 did not happen.

They first changed our schedules, so the only associate thats in my store and myself began working reduced hours, and the store hours were dramatically changed. Being open 11am to 4pm for a Cellular Retailer is NOT normal. This put myself and the associate alone at busy times. The Friday that I worked 4pm to 7pm by myself after associate was scheduled to leave, left the store overfilled and me loosing 4 phone sales. I called one of the owners and asked if he realized this was going on. He did not (which through my higher powers knew he did. I asked just who made these schedules and found  out it was the other owner and another associate who was promoted to replace our Operations Manager, as to train myself more with Managing (ordering phones/accessories). Shortly before this they closed one of our Store locations (we have three).

He told me he's sorry that happened, and informed me he will be in the location tomorrow to bring some stuff (supplies, etc) and I felt a little relieved I expressed my feelings, as I felt this topped it off. I expressed that if I'm the Manager, and all these changes are happening, and I hear them through the grapevine, follow suite, and that I'm not being initially addressed in person/meeting from them, it leaves me scratching my head in the corning wondering what I'm really doing and why.

So he shows the next day, at the end of our long work day Saturday ::cough:: and says there are some changes going on. He let us know he had to let go an associate in one location, and our Operations Manager. He then continued, I have to let go of both of you (associate and I) I almost let out a laugh, but he didn't say 'just kidding!' so I half coughed. I felt confused. I don't even think thats the appropriate word. I knew the company was struggling, but to lay off HALF the company, leaving the two owners and two associates that had been there the longest to run two locations, appeared like a suicide mission to me. It made and makes no sense. I felt hurt, betrayed and pissed right the fuck off. I worked my ass off, for more than 2 years to just have them say thanks, bye. Oh and its affective immediately. Saturday was my last day. Thisfuckingsucks.

I'm still not done grieving. I've already been struggling with my self esteem, eating disorder leftovers, and now its completely on the surface again. I realize over two years I've accomplished a lot, learned a ton, but it can't heal how horribly down I feel. This is a huge blow to how I view my career life and I'm struggling to get back up.